Philemon 1:8–16 “Our Attitude Toward Others”

Philemon 1:8-16 NIV

Suggested Praise Songs:

• Jesus, Friend of Sinners by Casting Crowns
• Love Won’t Let Me Down – Hillsong Young & Free
• No Longer Slaves – Bethel Music, Jonathan & Melissa Helser

Resources for Family Worship (with Children):

• Love in Action | Bible Story | LifeKids – Lesson for Kids
• Whole Lotta Change | Roar VBS | Group Publishing – Song for Kids
• God Is Good | Cross Culture Norway VBS Music Video | Group Publishing – Song for Kids
• Fly | Sky VBS Music Video | Group Publishing – Song for Kids
• Discussion Questions for Children & Youth are located in the section after Explanation, Meditation, and Prayer (at the end of this email/blog).

Explanation:

The Apostle now moves into the main part of his letter. The “thing you ought to do” (v. 8) refers to freeing his servant Onesimus and receiving him back as a fellow believer rather than as a slave. Paul states that though he has the authority as an apostle to command Philemon, he instead chooses to “appeal” (v. 9) on the basis of love. Rather than issuing an order from a position of power, he takes the humble path of persuasion. Paul reminds Philemon that he himself is “an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus,” emphasizing that his appeal comes not from self-interest but from his deep commitment to Christ.

Paul’s appeal concerns “Onesimus, my child, whose father I became while I was in chains” (v. 10). The church in Hierapolis had sent Onesimus, who was Philemon’s servant, to assist Paul during his imprisonment. While living near the prison and serving Paul, Onesimus was deeply moved by his witness and came to believe in the Lord. Paul grew to love him like a son. When Paul writes, “Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me” (v. 11), he is referring to Onesimus’s transformation through faith—he had become someone truly “useful” for the kingdom of God.

Paul expresses his desire to keep Onesimus with him because of the help he provides, but he chooses to send him back so that Philemon can give his consent freely (vv. 12–14). Paul wants Philemon’s decision to be “not forced, but voluntary.” He interprets Onesimus’s temporary separation from Philemon as part of God’s providence— “that you might have him back forever” (v. 15). Since Onesimus has accepted Christ as his Lord, he and Philemon are now joined as eternal companions in faith. Therefore, Paul declares, “He is no longer to be regarded as a slave, but better than a slave—as a dear brother” (v. 16). If Onesimus has become precious to Paul, then his transformation should be all the more reason for Philemon to rejoice and give thanks.

Meditation:

It is noteworthy that Onesimus came to know the Lord through his encounters with Paul while going back and forth to the prison. This indicates that the Apostle did not treat Onesimus merely as a slave but respected him as a complete human being. If Paul had treated him as a mere servant, Onesimus would never have listened to him. Instead, Paul recognized his full dignity as a person, built a genuine relationship with him, and only then shared the gospel. Through Paul’s words and actions, Onesimus could see that the message of the gospel was real and alive, and through that gospel, he was transformed into a new person. In their relationship, we see a beautiful example of what we call relational evangelism—sharing the gospel through authentic relationships grounded in love and respect.

After Onesimus’s conversion, Paul realized that he had become deeply useful as a servant of the gospel. On a human level, Paul wanted to keep Onesimus by his side to assist him. Yet he chose to send him back to Philemon, believing it was right towwew are  do so. Though Paul had the authority as an apostle to command Philemon, he instead appealed to him humbly, hoping that Philemon would respond willingly and joyfully from the heart.

Here again, Paul’s deep sensitivity and care for others shine through. He once declared, “In Christ there is neither master nor slave,” and he truly lived by that truth. He approached both masters and servants with the same attitude, respect, and love. His faith in the Lord Jesus Christ was expressed through genuine honor and consideration toward his brothers and sisters in faith. Whoever he met, Paul treated them as bearers of the image of God. That was how he related to people—and that was the true source of his power in evangelism.

Prayer:

Lord, we confess that we often judge others by worldly standards. Please renew our minds so that we may treat everyone we meet as Your precious child. Let our faith in You become the power that heals and removes all our prejudice and discrimination. Amen.

Discussion Questions for Children & Youth:

Key Point: Paul taught us that every person—no matter who they are—is precious in God’s eyes. When we treat others with love, respect, and kindness, we show the world what Jesus’ love looks like. True faith in Jesus changes how we see and treat people.

• For Preschool-Elementary
  • How did Paul treat Onesimus differently from how most people might treat a servant?
  • What do you think it means to see someone as a “child of God”?
  • Can you think of a time when someone treated you with kindness and respect? How did it make you feel?
    
• Youth
  • Paul had the authority to command Philemon, but he chose to appeal in love. What does that teach us about leadership and humility?
  • Why do you think Paul’s respectful attitude made it easier for Onesimus to believe the gospel?
  • In what ways do we sometimes judge, or label people based on appearance, popularity, or background—and how can faith help us change that?